


Terms of Endearment

by IncendiaGlacies



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, RipFic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-08 04:56:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12857199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IncendiaGlacies/pseuds/IncendiaGlacies
Summary: “Did Gideon just call you Sweetie?”In which Gideon doesn’t quite understand human social norms and Rip...doesn’t care. Inspired by 3x05





	Terms of Endearment

**Author's Note:**

> A complete crack!fic in which I wasn't stopped. Bonus points if you can find the shameless Doctor Who and Princess Bride references

The first time it happened, it was far too fast and he was far too distracted to notice let alone comment. He’d barely even back on desk duty after his imprisonment and tribunal; and he was finally allowed to at least ask questions about Mallus, and where the Legends were on their mission.

While the team themselves weren’t talking to Rip much, he got regular check-ins from Gideon.

He was looking over the latest report on an anachronism in the 23rd century (apparently Atlantis had resurfaced) because Director Baxter insisted that he stay at least somewhat focused on the daily job. He multitasked while he talked to Gideon. She didn’t necessarily approve of his methods, but she spent far too long with him to bother changing him now.

“Alright then, Gideon,” Rip responded as he looked over the papers (not even wanting to think about the impending report he had to write on the latest go team mission. “Thank you for letting me know. Do tell me the next time they have a run in with Damien, won’t you?”

“Of course, Sweetie.”

“Very good, I’ll talk to you later,” Rip turned off his comms.

He doesn’t realize what she had called him until a full two hours later when Agent Sharpe drags him out to lunch.

* * *

 

He had somehow convinced himself that he misheard her. Gideon never used pet names before. Rip had once jokingly called her ‘dear’ when she nagged him; she gave him a ten-minute lecture on how her name was Gideon, and how he should respect it.

“Sweetie, the Legends would like your assistance on their next mission.”

“Time and place, Gideon?” Rip responded as he readied his time courier.

“London, 1963. I’m sending you the coordinates now.”

“An old junkyard?” Rip raised an eyebrow, “I dread to think what they’ve done this time.”

By the time they were all back on the Waverider, Rip couldn’t deny it any longer. She had called him ‘Sweetie’.

* * *

 

Logically, Rip knew he should put a stop to it. Or at the very least, question Gideon about her choice of words. But he couldn’t find it in himself to actually care what she called him. Unlike the Legends, he could tell by her tone of voice that Gideon wasn’t teasing him or joking around. She used the endearment sincerely. Ever since he stepped foot on the Waverider, Rip had always just accepted that Gideon was an oddball of an AI.

After all, what other AI would lock their Captain in his room for two whole days just because he accidently insulted her? Or refused to start the engines until he ate a proper meal? Or blasted pop music because she refused to talk to him?

Gideon had always been different. Her new moniker for him was simply another quirk. (One that he couldn’t help but smile at whenever she used it.) So, he just let her be.

* * *

 

Of course, the Legends had to ruin everything.

“Did – did Gideon just call you Sweetie?” Jax asked as he stared at Gideon’s avatar on the main console in the bridge and then at Rip.

“I – uh – well, actually,” Rip cleared his throat uncomfortably and shuffled the few papers in his hands. He had only been back on the Waverider fulltime a few days, and already everything was falling apart. Rip didn’t mind if Gideon called him ‘sweetie’ in private, but in front of the Legends? That could only end in trouble.

“I did,” Gideon confirmed. Behind Jax, Ray pressed a hand to his mouth to muffle his laughter. Rip and Zari sent a glare in his direction while Sara smirked as well.

“Aw, is there something you two want to tell us?” Sara teased as she poked Rip’s side. He slapped her hand away and glowered.

“Nothing!” he barked at her, “It’s absolutely nothing.”

“I don’t understand,” Gideon interrupted, “Captain Lance called you ‘Sweetie’. Is this no longer the correct term?”

Jax let out a laugh as Sara looked blankly at the wall, her hands clearly itching to grab a knife. “Oh, so you’re Sara’s ‘sweetie’ too?” Jax joked.

“That is not what happened!” Rip argued.

“Look, all this only happened because he went out and got the Bureau as a new girlfriend!” Sara blamed Rip.

“Are we supposed to be following any of this conversation?” Zari asked. Sometimes she thought Gideon was the only one that made sense. Even if she was in love with the ex-Time Bureau Director.

“I’m certainly not and my processing capabilities are far greater than yours,” Gideon spoke up, “Doctor Palmer would you please stop your incessant laughing and explain?”

“I – sorry, Gideon,” Ray apologized, “It’s just that ‘Sweetie’ is normally used as a term of endearment.”

“Yes, I am aware,” Gideon replied. Her records showed that the term was quite common in the late twentieth through early twenty-second centuries.

“Right,” Ray fidgeted with his hands as he continued, “And we – I – was just surprised to hear you use it on Rip. It’s totally cool if you two are together obviously, completely and totally-”

“Please stop,” Rip sighed as he rubbed his temples. Slowly, Ray put his arms down from where they had been gesturing as he tried to explain what the two of them were.

“So, it is not being used as a new codename for Director Hunter?” Gideon asked slowly.

“No,” Sara explained, “Rip is just Rip. I was making fun of him. That’s all.”

“Sorry for giving you the wrong idea,” Jax apologized on the Legends’ behalf, “I know how confused you get with our twenty-first century lingo sometimes.” It had taken Jax forever to explain what a ‘meme’ was. Even with all her infinite wisdom, Gideon still had some gaps in her programming and knowledge.

“At least she’s not swearing or calling anyone a bitch anymore,” Sara shrugged.

“You said what now?!” Rip raised an eyebrow as he stared wide-eyed at Gideon’s hologram, “Where did you learn that language? And who did you-”

“You are hardly a perfect role model for proper language,” Gideon berated, “Where do you think I learned it from? Besides, Agent Sharpe deserved it at the time.”

“You called Agent Sharpe a-”

“Why didn’t you correct my use of language the first time I called you that term?” Gideon demanded of her Captain.

Rip looked at her owlishly, swallowing a few times before stuttering out, “I – I didn’t see it as necessary. Honestly, I thought you knew what it meant and-”

There was no point in finishing. Gideon had already turned her avatar off. She was done talking to him.

“Gideon?” Jax called.

“Don’t bother,” Rip dismissed as he looked back at his papers. He couldn’t focus on the information anyways, “She doesn’t want to talk now. Just, let her be.”

* * *

 

“Captain Hunter?”

“Ah, so you’re finally talking to me again?” Rip replied wryly as he looked over at her console in his bedroom.

Gideon activated her avatar as she lectured him, “You shouldn’t be reading in such low light. It’s bad for your eyes.” Immediately, she brightened the lights in his room. Rip groaned and squinted against them, he had just wanted to get some light reading in before bed.

“Nice to know you still care, dear,” he droned, “You haven’t talked to me in two days!”

“Dear, that’s another term of endearment,” Gideon commented softly ignoring his complaint.

Rip looked down at his book and flipped the page, answering nonchalantly, “Yes, I suppose it is.”

“You use it often.”

“Not that often,” Rip snorted as he looked back at her, “You don’t like it.”

“My name is Gideon!” she snapped at him. Quieter then, “Besides, you don’t mean it like that.”

“Like what?” Rip demanded.

“Sincerely.”

Rip closed the book shut and focused only on her, “Is that why you’ve been angry with me? You thought I was making fun of you-”

“It was foolish of me to use an outdated word unknowingly under the wrong context,” Gideon responded, “And you didn’t stop me.”

“Because I didn’t mind it. And I thought you meant it as-” Rip cut himself off abruptly and ran a hand through his already messy hair. He contemplated for a moment before sighing, “Terms of endearment. If you don’t like ‘dear’ or ‘sweetie’ we can always try another one. Darling?”

“Sweetheart,” Gideon tossed back playfully.

Rip quirked a smile as he remembered one of the old movies he had watched recently, “Babe.”

“Baby,” Gideon countered.

“Honey,” Rip said.

“Pumpkin. Apple of my eye, dumpling” Gideon began listing, “Why do so many of these involve food?”

“I’m not entirely sure, honestly.” Rip laughed. He and Miranda had never particularly been ones for pet names. Instead, he continued the ridiculousness, “Angel.”

“Snookum.”

“That cannot be real,” Rip raised an eyebrow.

“I’m afraid by twenty-first century records, it is most definitely real,” Gideon informed gravely.

Rip shook his head trying to top it, “Sexy.”

“Casanova.”

“Cutey-pie.”

“Rip.”

“What?” Rip blinked at her, “I’m not sure that counts as-”

“A term of endearment is a word or phrase used to address or describe a person, animal or inanimate object for which the speaker feels love or affection,” Gideon listed monotonously. Softer she repeated, “Rip. Would that be more appropriate for us?”

Rip cleared his throat, “Yes. Yes, I think it would. It works perfectly for us, Gideon.”

“Good,” Gideon’s melodious voice filled the room as she turned off her avatar, “You should get some sleep now.”

“Yes, right. Always right,” Rip shuffled about as he settled under the covers. Belatedly he realized the bright light was still on. “Gideon, could you turn out the lights?” a smile played on his lips as he lightly teased (though with full intention of the word) “Please, Sweetie?”

“As you wish, Rip.”


End file.
